It’s a natural reaction for people to doubt your abilities if they themselves lack said qualities; next time you share a dream from your heart, please remember that fact. When my husband shares his crazy (but phenomenal) ideas with me, I am challenged to constantly step back and check that my reaction is not born out of SELF doubt. He can achieve those things, regardless of my inability to do so, and therefore I really ought not to crap on his ideas due to my shortcomings or differing gifts.
The other time people feel they have permission to give their opinion, is in regards to parenting- whether they have kids or not. A non-parent telling you your methods are wrong is obnoxious, but understandable as they still live in the dream reality of how they want to be as a parent someday (actually having kids levels the playing field of judgement- at least most of the time). What I truly cannot stand though, is a bad parent offering you parenting advice. I don’t think I’m the best mom in the world, but I try to share (when asked) about my Personal experience- keeping at the forefront of my mind that I must come from a place of individual life experience is essential in ensuring I do not come across preachy or judgmental.
As a general rule, I believe all humans should think before they speak (I say that knowing full well I am in violation of this statement rather often) and first consider if what they are about to share is going to raise the general frequency of the conversation- encouraging the other party(s)- or spill out like poison and kill everyone’s aspirations engaged in said conversation. I do not enjoy when men OR women tell me to alter my dreams to fit “XYZ,” simply because they are trying to validate why they have quit on themselves. Nor should I listen to another parent’s assessment of my life plans and mothering skills, when they do not really know me.
This may be sounding like a bit of a rant, and that’s because it is. We only have one shot to live this life, to raise our children, to become the person we want to be… so why is it so easy to tear others down when we should be building each other up? Is it human nature to hate that which you cannot achieve, or stand so awestruck before it that a natural division is made? Or are some people just jerks…. (?) Either way, we all need a heavy dose of truth when it comes to how we are speaking to one another, be it your spouse, or a perfect stranger. The next time someone shares a dream with you, before you open your mouth and poop out the wrong end all over it, maybe ask yourself if this is a YOU problem, and WHY your are reacting so negatively.
Allow me to now step back off my soap box and return to hatching dreams I’m sure plenty of people will crap on… after all, that’s my right as a human, and I’m going to leverage it.
So should you.
I’m also going to continue loving my children and doing what I believe is best for them- with or without anyone else’s approval. God has entrusted them to my husband and I, so it is our responsibility to be good stewards and carefully mull over what people say, without letting them cause us to stumble. I can ruminate on advice, but I reserve the right to spit it out if it’s “off.”
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